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FOR THE LAST TIME.

Okay guys. This is it. This is THE LAST TIME. Because we’re totally over it, but our Liam Hemsworth Google Alerts are not.

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Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus have officially confirmed that they’ve called off their engagement. Cue the mini-Internet parties, the general lack of surprise, and most of all, THE GOSSIP RAGS.

To recap, Miley and Liam reportedly split in March and have been seen together only sporadically since, but their split was just confirmed 6 days ago, which people are actually taking to mean that they broke up 6 days ago.

We’re not going to slut-shame Miley. She’s actually kind of a PR genius (or her team is, at least) because all of her recent obnoxious activity is getting her tons of attention, which is exactly what she wants. This, of course, includes the announcement of her break-up a week or two after she releases a song all about the relationship “wrecking” her, that SHE RECORDED MONTHS AGO, followed by an overflow of *anonymous sources* in tabloids stating that Miley initiated the split and generally blaming Liam for everything. For those of you who aren’t too familiar with the PR machine, this is pretty classic.

The gossip rags are having a field day. Like this article that tries to shame Liam for kissing a new girl (who may NOT be his girlfriend. They’re 23. Let’s be honest now.) “in public” after the split. And by in public, they mean in a parking garage when he did not realize he was being stalked by paparazzi. The internet is already busy slut-shaming the new girl, a Mexican actress best known for her role on a popular Nickelodeon show in Latin America. There’s also the good ol’ January Jones story, because we know know that if you ride in the same car together once and Page Six says it’s true, you’re TOTES getting it on. Likewise, rumors of Miley cheating are quickly being squashed via those lovely anonymous sources with the inside track on her heartbreak. And again, the media actually thinks that Liam and Miley broke up 6 days ago.

Liam– we were going to make a post break-up kit involving tacos and old action movies, ending with a hearty “We’ve been there, dude. It sucks.” But you know what? You don’t even need it. YOU DO YOU. You’ve been through a lot over the past few months, Mexican actress that may be your girlfriend, but maybe not is smokin’ hot, and you’re on the set of another Hunger Games movie now (which is where we like you best, anyway!) so we’re just going to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. Here’s hoping the rest of the media follows suit, because we are as sick of hearing about it as you are.

Here’s Hoping That The Media Learns To STFU By Catching Fire Press Junket Time,

The Girl With The Pearl

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Meanwhile, On Planet Overreaction…

So, THE PHOTOS. The ones that clearly no fansite is going to talk about, because they were taken by paparazzi taking a step up by not only shooting on set, but straight into the cast’s hotel rooms. We’re talking about them.

Yet drinking an entire bottle of wine would be no big deal...

Yet drinking an entire bottle of wine would be no big deal…

A few days ago, paparazzi photos of Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, and a friend smoking what was likely a joint while inside or on the balcony of their hotel rooms in Hawaii appeared on the Internet.

You could not possibly fathom the fucks we do not give.

It’s unbelievable how many people have expressed their disappointment in Jen and Josh, as if they’re now both small-time dealers without jobs or motivation, living in their parents’ basements. Or worse, that they’re crazy drug-addled fools on the road to ruin. REALLY?!

Drop the third grade mentality, people. Not everyone who has ever touched a joint in their lives is a bad person doomed to a life of recklessness. In fact, we know plenty of habitual smokers who are far more successful in life than ourselves, because they recognize that there’s a time and place for everything. The cast was not called to set that day. This decision didn’t effect their jobs nor their personal lives.

Forgetting the fact that they’re movie stars (because not all movie stars are excellent people), Jennifer still won an Academy Award for her beautiful performance in Silver Linings Playbook, a movie which has prompted a fantastic national discussion about mental illness. Josh is still an advocate for Straight But Not Narrow, an organization fighting back against homophobia, along with getting involved with several others charity events in his spare time. They’re both charming, funny, and good to their fans. They’re smart, influential people and joints don’t change that. Point and yell “SCANDAL!” all you want, but we’re just rolling our eyes over here.

YES, we know hemp is not the same.

YES, we know hemp is not the same.

If we’re going to worry, at least show us the hard drugs! If Jennifer Lawrence was snorting coke off the rim of her wine glass, we would have been concerned. If Josh Hutcherson was shooting heroin into his veins on the balcony, we see why people would panic. Instead, they got really chill for a while and probably ate a massive tray of nachos in their hotel rooms. Nobody was harmed and nobody was wronged. You don’t have a say in their personal lives, no matter how much you pretend you do. And guess what? You’re not better than them, dude!

And let’s be honest, did you think these two have never seen the stuff before? After being on a film set with Woody Harrelson?! It was only a matter of time before he passed the dutchie pon the left-hand side, though we’re sure Jen and Josh were well aware long before that.

The summarize: Does it affect their careers? No. Does it turn them into raging, dysfunctional monsters? No. Does it effect YOU in any sort of way, Mr. or Ms. Judgmental? No.

Therefore, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WHO THE HELL CARES?!

Love From A Big Kid Who Knows This Isn’t A Big Deal,
The Girl With The Pearl

P.S. Before someone inevitably bring it up in the comments: No, I don’t smoke weed. Not because of some deep moral compass, just because any type of smoking is not my schtick. We’re not hippie stoners, just people who grew up in reality. PLZKTHX.

Self Control

We’re not mindless automatons set in front of computer terminals, being fed information on a constant ever-changing loop, are we? No, no we’re not– but if you think about it, a large amount of people are sure acting like they are. Any now everyone’s all “what the hell is she talking about!?” All right, so over the last several weeks of production on Catching Fire more, and more, and more photos have been taken not just by paparazzi, but by what we’re now going to call fanarazzi, i.e. fans who whip out their mobile phones, their pocket-sized cameras, or their digital SLRs, and snap, snap, snap photos of sets, cast members, and set pieces in, and around the Atlanta, Georgia area. At first I was fine with the photos that were surfacing, the smattering of shots featuring half the cast milling about in white waffled robes, to me those were all fine and dandy. Lately though things have stepped up a notch, and it’s seriously got to the point where I, the person writing this, does not want to see another aerial shot of the cornucopia, a telephoto lens shot of the Tribute Parade chariots, I simply would like to see NONE of it. See, I’m not a mindless automaton, set in front of a computer terminal, with no choices, no conscience, no morals, or ethics– I’m a human being. I’m a person who likes surprises as well, and the ever waning comforting thought, that others know that taking photos of highly anticipated films whist in production, is ruining the mystique of almost the entire artful, and controlled chaos known as film making.

I’m pissed, everyone. I’m pissed because people who are seemingly excited about this amazing series being put to film, are stepping over an invisible line of propriety, and ruining this process that I, as an individual, respect so very much. If you’re a regular reader of this site, you should know by now that I’m a film lover, it should probably be tattooed across my forehead, but that would make my mother cry herself to death. So, just know– I’m pissed, I love film, and I ardently am now going to ask people who are taking these photos (namely fellow fans of the series), intruding on the process they have no business traipsing all over– to cease and desist this deplorable behavior! Do the opposite of wrong, guys.

Just don’t do it. Also, if I knew who was taking those aerial shots, I’d love to give them a piece of my mind– and I got a big mind, y’all– huge.

Them There Eyes

Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Paparazzi

Last week, a girl passed out on Jennifer Lawrence’s front lawn. Jennifer being the good person she is went to her aid along with other passers-by.

And of course this was all very well documented by the paparazzi.

While the girl ended up being fine enough to not need to go to the hospital, no one could’ve known that. And yet we have all these pictures of it because Jennifer is the new It Girl, and of course paparazzi must camp outside at her apartment complex on the off chance she wants to see a little sunlight.

Yes, she knew what she was getting into when she decided to take on the high profile role of Katniss Everdeen. Impending lack of privacy is what almost kept Jennifer from not taking the job in the first place. But it’s more than annoying to see this all in action. 

I know this is how it is for celebrities, but I just wish people could leave her alone. She gives the media enough gems when she’s on the job with memorable interviews and stunning photos. Do we really need to see her just taking her dog for a walk?

And I may be a little bit against the paparazzi because I live in LA and have happened to have encountered my fair share of douchey paps just trying to get the shot. I’ve more than once had to stop my car because one ran out in the middle of the street to photograph someone, and just Friday I was blinded by a flash going off while I drove down Sunset Blvd. But seeing photos of Jennifer looking visibly annoyed because she’s trying to have lunch with her friends or is just grabbing a coffee from Whole Foods makes me hate them even more. 

And these pictures being all over the internet doesn’t make me very happy either.

Smile real wide for the-
Twiffidy

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