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It’s All In The Accent

I should be writing about how Jennifer Lawrence has lost at the two most recent awards shows she’s attended, and how awful that is, and “poor Jen!”– but I’m not going to, because sometimes it’s not all about Jennifer Lawrence. Yes, even though it’s pretty much been scientifically proven that she is in fact awesome. Nope, today I’m going to wax philosophic over how much I am in hard like with IMDb, and all the amazing little nuggets of information it gives forth when I am quite honestly strapped for article ideas, ’cause there are only so many pieces that can be written about how awesome Jen is. Which she is, we’ve covered that, Jeez!

the_hunger_games__mockingjay_part_1__fan_art__by_phoenixpx-d6ul9fzToday I was perusing my crush object, AKA IMDb.com, reading through The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1’s full cast and crew list, because sometimes as proven in the past, there are nuggets of hidden information hiding in those lines of tiny, text. Like that time I found that Ripper had been cast and was for real in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, you’ll remember her, she was the woman Katniss helped during the raid aftermath at The Hob. However, this time around I spent an exorbitant amount of time looking at the technical and behind the scenes listings, searching out costumers names, and stunt people’s past and current projects, and then I found the name Francie Brown, and the annotation, “dialect coach: Mr. Cusack”. Now, I only know of one Mr. Cusack in the film business, I’m sure there are others, but most likely those Mr. Cusacks don’t require the employ of a dialect coach. So, if you’re on the same page as me, and I don’t mean webpage, I mean thought process, this particular Mr. Cusack is none other than John Cusack of Say Anything, Grosse Pointe Blank, Being John Malkovich, Serendipity (don’t lie, you saw it too!), High Fidelity, Anastasia, and about a million other known and semi known films– fame. I think I might be a little bit psychic, guys. Or, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but sometimes I have casting ideas that either do come true in full, or only in part. For instance I picked out Julianne Moore for Coin over 6 months before she was cast, I also secretly thought of Sam Claflin for Finnick a year before he was cast, I also thought that Stanley Tucci would have been a great President Snow way before he was cast in the role of Caesar Flickerman. Kind of glad he got Flickerman, actually.

Which brings me to Cusack being a rumored cast member, because I of course scrolled up on the page and saw that he was listed– but the pesky “rumored” annotation was there. Face it, if they’re hiring out a dialect coach for him though, and the said dialect coach is listed in the credits– I’m pretty damn sure he’s not a rumored cast member, but that he is one. And before anyone points out to me that anyone with an IMDb-pro account, can alter an IMDb page’s listings, the information that is more often than not altered, added, and retracted, is usually done by day-players trying to pad their resumes, not reputable dialect coaches who have been the coach to shocked_faceChristian Bale multiple times on multiple projects (like, all the Batman movies!)– she’s the real deal naysayers of the world. Almost a year ago in February I wrote this, an article fan-casting John and Joan Cusack in the roles of Boggs and Coin. Yep, so that didn’t happen, the casting of those specific actors in those specific roles that is, but John Cusack has magically shown up in the cast list for one of the Mockingjay films– and I’m just going to take that as a sign from the giant unicorn I worship, that something amazing is going on down at the casting offices for this film franchise.

Cusack is a boon– people, not quite as starry-eyed-amazing-and-shiny-fantastic as getting Hoffman, and Moore, but he comes with clout, and chops, and intelligence, and years, and years, and years of experience. There’s no information on what role he’s allegedly taken on, but judging from the whole dialect coach thing, I’m going to make an educated stab in the dark here, and say he’s playing someone from the Capitol– the only place in Panem with any discernible accent. However, if I had my way he’d be playing Doctor Aurelius, but unfortunately Aurelius is from District 13– an area of Panem that according to canon, has no noticeable accent. Cusack is a Name however, meaning his reputation precedes him, therefore I’ll posit that the role he’s allegedly taken is not a one liner– and that he’s going to pleasantly surprise us.

Let us wait and see! Until then, please check out The Paperboy– it’s one of those films that Cusack did that’s little known, but was seriously, seriously amazing in, Matthew McConaughey, Nicole Kidman, and Zac Efron are in it as well. It’s a veritable feast for the senses, no lie.

Them There Eyes

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The Captain and the President

DISTRICT13_RUINSI said it last week, and it still holds true– I could write a fantasy-casting article everyday for a month, and I’d still have ideas. Well, here I am again, and until the drudgery of pretty no worthwhile Catching Fire and/or Mockingjay news ceases, you’re stuck with me living in a fanciful haze. Yeah, yeah, Judianna talking up about her inspiration behind Katniss’ Interview dress is groovy and everything, but personally– I don’t want to know, because I’m a snob who thinks she got the dress deadly wrong. So, not going there. And the Oscar race, and the multitude of Jen sound-bites, it’s just too joan-cusack-picture-5much for me to all take in right now. Fan-casting is a safe haven for me, and when this duo came to my mind in a fit of sleep deprived genius, my heart leapt with joy– or maybe I was just dehydrated? They’re siblings, and they’ve worked together several times, and their dynamic is something to revel, and basically bathe in, because it’s so weirdly good. They are Joan and John Cusack. Just ruminate on this for a sec, and then come back to the facts: John’s 46, fit, well over 6 feet tall, a trained kick boxer (yes, those moves he displayed in Say Anything were real, as were the ones in Grosse Pointe Blank), an extremely versatile actor, reputable, and has played stoic, military, and fatherly roles before. Joan is 50, not quite as successful as her younger brother, but I’ll never hold that against her, she’s a hard worker, talented, extremely funny, and everything I’ve ever seen her in she’s more than good. John, of course in this fantasy casting is Captain Boggs, and Joan is the steely President Alma Coin, if you haven’t figured that out from the title, and everything.

Maybe I just really like the idea of them pairing up again, because it’s been 13 years since their last project together (High Fidelity in 2000). Also, maybe I just really like the idea of JohnCusack_thumb%255B2%255DJoan taking someone on who’s on a whole different level of scary than she’s taken on before. Because, even though I know she’s working on the Showtime series Shameless right now, I’d like to see her in something that I’d willingly watch. Fact: I didn’t like the UK version of Shameless, I’m not even up for trying out the US’s. Not even James McAvoy kept me interested in the series– and he was naked, and screwing his now wife on the kitchen floor. The characters no matter what accent they’re using are entirely unappealing to me. But, about Joan though, she may not be the icy beauty some of us had in mind, but she’s a solid choice if they ever make one. As for John, just– do I really have to make a case for John? He’s been doing this acting thing for about 30 years, and he’s probably not going to stop until some Libertarian takes him out with a truck, or– y’know, old age? There ya’ go, two people checked off my list for possible Boggs’, and possible Coins, and yes– they’re really long lists. 

I won’t be done until these roles are truly cast. And even then I will continue to fan-cast these roles for the remakes that will be done in about 15 years.

Them There Eyes

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