FOR THE LAST TIME.
Okay guys. This is it. This is THE LAST TIME. Because we’re totally over it, but our Liam Hemsworth Google Alerts are not.
Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus have officially confirmed that they’ve called off their engagement. Cue the mini-Internet parties, the general lack of surprise, and most of all, THE GOSSIP RAGS.
To recap, Miley and Liam reportedly split in March and have been seen together only sporadically since, but their split was just confirmed 6 days ago, which people are actually taking to mean that they broke up 6 days ago.
We’re not going to slut-shame Miley. She’s actually kind of a PR genius (or her team is, at least) because all of her recent obnoxious activity is getting her tons of attention, which is exactly what she wants. This, of course, includes the announcement of her break-up a week or two after she releases a song all about the relationship “wrecking” her, that SHE RECORDED MONTHS AGO, followed by an overflow of *anonymous sources* in tabloids stating that Miley initiated the split and generally blaming Liam for everything. For those of you who aren’t too familiar with the PR machine, this is pretty classic.
The gossip rags are having a field day. Like this article that tries to shame Liam for kissing a new girl (who may NOT be his girlfriend. They’re 23. Let’s be honest now.) “in public” after the split. And by in public, they mean in a parking garage when he did not realize he was being stalked by paparazzi. The internet is already busy slut-shaming the new girl, a Mexican actress best known for her role on a popular Nickelodeon show in Latin America. There’s also the good ol’ January Jones story, because we know know that if you ride in the same car together once and Page Six says it’s true, you’re TOTES getting it on. Likewise, rumors of Miley cheating are quickly being squashed via those lovely anonymous sources with the inside track on her heartbreak. And again, the media actually thinks that Liam and Miley broke up 6 days ago.
Liam– we were going to make a post break-up kit involving tacos and old action movies, ending with a hearty “We’ve been there, dude. It sucks.” But you know what? You don’t even need it. YOU DO YOU. You’ve been through a lot over the past few months, Mexican actress that may be your girlfriend, but maybe not is smokin’ hot, and you’re on the set of another Hunger Games movie now (which is where we like you best, anyway!) so we’re just going to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. Here’s hoping the rest of the media follows suit, because we are as sick of hearing about it as you are.
Here’s Hoping That The Media Learns To STFU By Catching Fire Press Junket Time,
The Girl With The Pearl