Permission to Stalk Jennifer Lawrence?
Oh, Jennifer Lawrence! You’ve had such an exciting week, but we’re getting awfully excited about an upcoming project of yours!
David O. Russell’s upcoming film about the Abscam scandal doesn’t even have a title yet, but if the rumors are to be believed, it does have something else: Filming Locations. New York and Boston.
We know your part is small and chances are you won’t be in every filming location, but we’re really hoping you’re in Boston. Mainly because I’m in Boston. Well, I’m elsewhere in Massachusetts, but I CAN be in Boston.
Look, I’ve never done this before. This is new to me! I just have one simple question for Jennifer Lawrence:
IF YOU COME TO BOSTON, CAN I STALK YOU? PRETTY PRETTY PLEASEEEE?!
Only for a day or two, of course. I can’t take too much time off work! And only if you’re filming in some sort of public setting where curious bystanders can hang out without being total creeps. Maybe if there’s a call for extras, because I’m a great clueless bystander type! I could even bring along my future brother-in-law, who was an extra in another David O. Russell film, The Fighter (and actually made it into the movie!)
Yes… Yes! The plan is unraveling now! Muahahaha!
I’ll do things like quietly watch how films are made! And smile politely, perhaps even manage to mention what a big fan I am if you come close enough that I don’t have to shout out, but only when the cameras aren’t rolling. Don’t worry, I would never even choke up the courage to ask for an autograph or a picture! (TRUE STORY: The only celebrity I’ve ever asked for a picture is Rupert Grint, and it’s perhaps the worst picture of me I have ever taken IN MY LIFE. I made rabid hyenas look classy.)
… Okay, so maybe I’m not that great of a stalker. Hell, I wouldn’t even hide outside Jennifer Lawrence’s hotel! I don’t completely understand why us Average Joes always feel compelled to see celebrities in person, we just do. We know, deep down, that she’s the same as everyone else, except she’s got a really excellent job. WE KNOW. Yet we still have to see it for ourselves, almost as if to prove that Jennifer Lawrence is a real person. (ANOTHER TRUE STORY: I once had a three sentence conversation with Mark Wahlberg without realizing it was Mark freakin’ Wahlberg. I think I made zero impression.)
Anyway, everyone at Victor’s Village hopes you stop by. At the very least, I’ll make you some fairly corny list of things us working class kids do in Boston!
But If You Do The Accent And Mess It Up… NO MERCY,
The Girl With The Pearl