Hunger Games Fan Law in Henry River Mill Village
In case you haven’t noticed, some Hunger Games fans are not the brightest people on Earth, despite having amazing taste in books. Recently, a prime example has come to light.
Henry River Mill Village, aka The Seam, is being vandalized by Hunger Games fans. The once quiet area is now visited quite often by movie lovers. You’d expect them to just geek out and take lots of pictures, BUT NO!
Instead, they’re trashing the place and taking pieces of the PASTRIES sign painted on to the side paneling of Mellark Bakery and trying to break into buildings!
To put it nicely, this is sheer idiocy at its best. It’s like the high school kids who think it’s cool to drink in graveyards and smash bottles on headstones. They think they’re being wild and fun and rebellious by screwing around with something that has meaning, but really they’re just making themselves out to be huge assholes. We realize they’re not all real Hunger Games fans. They’re slightly obsessed teens or man/lady-childs who want a bit of the set for themselves.
Henry River Mill Village should basically be a mecca for Hunger Games fans. We cannot possibly fathom people tearing it apart in the pursuit of their own kicks. Therefore, we’ve come up with some appropriate punishments!
THE NEW LAW AND ORDER IN HENRY RIVER MILL VILLAGE:
Littering – Three days in the stocks
Tagging – 10 lashes, Romulus Thread Style
Trespassing – Five years locked up in a shed that has a family of skunks living under it
Breaking and Entering – Sterilization
Minor Property Damage – A gruesome execution designed by the writing team behind the Saw movies
Destruction of Property – Admission into your very own Hunger Games, in which everyone except you is a professional marksman
Hopefully, these strict regulations will be enough to get these fools to leave Henry River Mill Village and the little old man who owns it at peace. This place is left open to the public so fans can enjoy it and THIS is how you repay that? C’mon guys. We’re so much better than that!
At least I’m better than that. If you’re not, I’m better than you. Yeah, I said it!
The Girl With The Pearl