The Capitol Cosmetic Craze
Apparently, we Hunger Games fans have learned absolutely nothing by reading the series.
Don’t believe us? Well, how many times have you read articles updating and analyzing “The Great Nail Polish Clusterfuck of 2011″? It’s all over the news: Lionsgate is getting its pants sued off by American International Industries after suddenly breaking their contract to create an exclusive line of Hunger Games nail polish, though Lionsgate claims it was in their rights because American International “leaked” product information. Because nail polish names like “Catnip” and “Cinna-mon” are TOP SECRET SHIT!
The best part is that this is just the beginning! If we’re already even considering a line of Hunger Games nail polish, we’re going to have a marketing scheme of horrendous proportions by the time Mockingjay is released! Get ready for Hunger Games makeup, collectors cups, Valentine’s Day cards and nail files, because they’re not far behind!
In the fandom for one of the most anticipated films of the year, this is the stuff we stumble over. Our favorite story resonates around a society obsessed with beauty to such an astronomical fault that they let others suffer in order to maintain it, meanwhile we fret over nail polish. Basically, Suzanne Collins thinks we’re a bunch of assholes (though she never told us that in person, obviously)!
But it’s not just nail polish! Oh no! Allure Online has created a list of all the beauty innovations used by arrogant Capitol citizens in The Hunger Games that they wish existed in real life. Oops! We guess they missed the message that the people of the Capitol were selfish and pathetic for obsessing over these things while people were struggling to survive in the other districts!
Then there’s the InStyle braid. URGH, THE BRAID! We get it… it’s kind of fun to use a silly photo app and slap a Katniss braid on your head. But we’ve said it once and we’ll say it again: If you want to try out the braided look, go braid your damn hair! If it’s not long enough, then you’re obviously not interested in braids! This isn’t some new innovative hairstyle, people!
Knowing that there actually might be some enjoyment in that last bit, we’ve decided to get it out of our systems all at once by braiding the hair of the only people who would ever need to get “the Katniss”: People of Panem obsessed with our fair Mockingjay!
Peeta will do ANYTHING to be one with Katniss..
Gale does it to repent..
Haymitch is too drunk to realize what’s happened to his hair..
MORE AFTER THE CUT!
Effie is up on all the latest trends..
Cinna gets the credit for creating her look..
Even Snow is in on the action!
I’m not bitter, that’s just the way my face is!
The Girl With The Pearl